Sing a song of sixpence

befitandchase:

jumpyhyliannetop:

itsmydarkesthour:

hippies-like-us:

kuneria:

Bob Ross soothes and calms and makes me happy like nothing else I’ve ever known.

Fun fact: Bob Ross was a Marine drill sergeant for several years, but quit because he didn’t like yelling at people.

PRIVATE WHY ARE YOU NOT SMILING IF YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF WITHIN THE NEXT 3 SECONDS YOU ARE GOING TO DROP AND GIVE ME 50

I actually met a person who didn’t know who this dude was. It was so much fun introducing her to the wonder known as Bob Ross.

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said  “Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad) I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

lowkeywalker:

come-to-my-world:

Ok, so I don’t know how I ended up here and woah!

they made

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characters

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for

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every

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single

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element

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of the

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periodic

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table!

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And also they made this

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and this

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*new ship* 

There’s even a granny!

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It’s like

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superheros

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(there’s a guy who looks like Hulk btw)

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and humans

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and there are

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twins!!

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And Bethoveen

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THEY MADE THOR

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And there’s also this which made me laugh

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I can’t! 

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(source)

this is the coolest shit b.

yahooentertainment:

Here’s a dancing baby Groot for your blog

hiowl:

missmania244:

eatfithappiness:

epic-humor:

Animals Growing Up

Cuz who wouldn’t want this on their dash

The turtle one

If this doesn’t make ur day better u are wrong and you can go

rosaparking:

drunktrophywife:

blacktinabelcher:

Why is this Freddie from icarly

I TOLD YALL HE WAS HOT

WHAT THE FUCK

rosaparking:

drunktrophywife:

blacktinabelcher:

Why is this Freddie from icarly

I TOLD YALL HE WAS HOT

WHAT THE FUCK

lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

breelandwalker:

feliciakainz:

carryonmywaywardalpaca:

dearborns:

#how many times have I quoted this in my lifetime #far too many and still not enough

Guys, btw, this is an actual insult

if he calls your mother a hamster, it indicates that she is a fast-breeding rodent— you can get the insult there

and if he says your father smelt of elderberries, well, wine was primarily made from elderberries in the time of king arthur. he’s calling his dad a drunk

more you know

When people interrupt me while I’m reading

ruthieandersen:

infamoushogwartsjaguar:

They expect my reaction to be something like:

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When really, my reaction is something like:

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And you continue the Snape face until they shut up. Or you are forced to tell them to shut up because they are missing the point. 

Dulé Hill takes the #IceBucketChallenge
         ”I nominate Jaleel White, Lamorne Morris, Timothy Omundson, Maggie Lawson, James Roday, Andrew Porteous, and Georgia Maher. That’s right - I’m talking to you @TexasArtChic! I’m doing this for the late Andrene Dipronio, always love to the Gabay family!”